Book Review: Psycho Cybernetics (Draft)

Summary

Imagine your brain is a super-advanced computer designed for one specific purpose : to help you succeed. Psycho-Cybernetics is a user manual for that computer.

• Psycho : The mind
• Cybernetics : A Greek word meaning “steersman” (someone who steers a ship)

So, Psycho-Cybernetics basically means “Steering your mind to a productive target”

This book digs into the power of self image, the power of sub-conscious mind and how to use it to pursue your goals.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, the man who created Psycho-Cybernetics, discovered a “glitch” in the human brain that you can use as a superpower:

Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined.

The book focuses on power of self-image, how can you improve it so you can set a big goal. Once goal is set, how one can harness the power of imagination to progress towards your goal.

It is a very practical book, digging to great examples from hyposis to top athletes using visualization to lay down the path towards goal. Lot of future famous work : Tony Robbins to Sports Visualization was influenced by this book. I wish the name was not that scary / daunting (the name doesnt tell clearly what the book is about).

‘Before the mind can work efficiently, we must develop our perception of the outcomes we expect to reach. Maxwell Maltz calls this Psycho-Cybernetics; when the mind has a defined target it can focus and direct and refocus and redirect until it reaches its intended goal : Tony Robbins, author of Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within

I plan to use this book to chase my two goals : Hyrox and Finance. That is a separate post. Will use these notes to summarize chapter by chapter as I progress through it.

My Notes

Chapter 1 : Self Image

• This chapter starts from the basics : we all have self image, many of our acts are consistent with our self image. And, the loophole is, we can change our self image. In fact, it is literally impossible to really think positively about a particular situation as long as you hold a negative concept of your “self.”

The new science of cybernetics has furnished us with convincing proof that the so-called subconscious mind is not a “mind” at all, but a mechanism—a goal-striving “servo-mechanism” consisting of the brain and nervous system, which is used by, and directed by the mind. The latest and most usable concept is that man does not have two “minds,” but a mind, or consciousness, that operates an automatic, goal-striving machine. This automatic, goal-striving machine functions very similarly to the way that electronic servo-mechanisms function, as far as basic principles are concerned. But it is much more marvelous, much more complex, than any computer or guided missile ever conceived by man.

Dr. Maltz makes it clear that all of us have goals, whether we intentionally articulate them or not. The brain and nervous system are continually leading us in the direction of images we think about consciously, or images that are so much a part of us that we’re led toward them on autopilot. The alcoholic or drug addict has goals just as much as the entrepreneur, politician, professional athlete, or mother-to-be. With this in mind, we can become aware of what’s “under the hood”—and whether or not we want the goals we’re unconsciously moving toward, or the ones that we consciously choose and work toward.

• Like any other servo-mechanism, it must have a clear-cut goal, objective, or “problem” to work on.
• The goals that our own Creative Mechanism seeks to achieve are mental images, or mental pictures, which we create by the use of imagination. The key goal-image is our self-image. Our self-image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goals. It prescribes the “area of the possible.” Hence, everything starts with self image. And that is why visualization is so powerful
• Dr Maltz says the method itself is simple. It consists of learning, practising and experiencing new habits of thinking, imagining, remembering, and acting in order to
  • develop an adequate and realistic self-image, and
  • use your Creative Mechanism to bring success and happiness in achieving particular goals.
• Basically success will feed on success. Your improved self image will make bigger goals believable and the belief will help to achieve them.

Chapter 2 : Discovering the success mechanism within you

• Focus of this chapter is humans have evolved to have success mechanism that goes beyond survival needs.
  • For an animal “to live” simply means that certain physical needs must be met. Animals cannot select their goals. Their goals (self-preservation and procreation) are preset, so to speak. And their success mechanism is limited to these built-in goal-images, which we call “instincts.”
  • Man, on the other hand, has something animals don’t: Creative Imagination. Thus man of all creatures is more than a creature, he is also a creator. With his imagination he can formulate a variety of goals. Man alone can direct his Success Mechanism by the use of imagination, or imaging ability.
• Various examples are given how when are learning, everything is an effort (like child learning to hold a pencil and write). But once we learn, it goes into subsconscious so that our mental energy is saved for future learning. And this
• Once you decide on a goal, your subconscious works in background to make choices towards your goal.
• The basic principles:
  1. Your built-in Success Mechanism must have a goal or “target.” This goal, or target, must be conceived of as “already in existence—now” either in actual or potential form. It operates by either (1) steering you to a goal already in existence or (2) “discovering” something already in existence.
  2. The automatic mechanism is teleological, that is, it operates or must be oriented to “end results” goals. Do not be discouraged because the “means whereby” may not be apparent. It is the function of the automatic mechanism to supply the means whereby when you supply the goal. Think in terms of the end result, and the means whereby will often take care of themselves.
  3. Do not be afraid of making mistakes, or of temporary failures. All servo-mechanisms achieve a goal by negative feedback, or by going forward, making mistakes, and immediately correcting course.
  4. Skill learning of any kind is accomplished by trial and error, mentally correcting aim after an error, until a “successful” motion, movement, or performance has been achieved. After that, further learning, and continued success, is accomplished by forgetting the past errors, and remembering the successful response, so that it can be imitated.
  5. You must learn to trust your Creative Mechanism to do its work and not “jam it” by becoming too concerned or too anxious as to whether it will work or not, or by attempting to force it by too much conscious effort. You must “let it” work, rather than “make it” work. This trust is necessary because your Creative Mechanism operates below the level of consciousness, and you cannot “know” what is going on beneath the surface. Moreover, its nature is to operate spontaneously according to present need. Therefore, you have no guarantees in advance. It comes into operation as you act and as you place a demand on it by your actions. You must not wait to act until you have proof—you must act as if it is there, and it will come through. “Do the thing and you will have the power,” said Emerson.

Chapter 3. Imagination : The First Key to Your Success Mechanism

• Previous chapters covered that mind is powerful and self image is the key to everything. And once you set a goal, your mind works on achieving it in background.
• This chapter digs into fact that Your nervous system cannot tell the difference between an imagined experience and a real experience. In either case, it reacts automatically to information that you give to it from your forebrain. The brain and nervous system that react automatically to the environment are the same brain and nervous system that tell us what the environment is.

For example, if a good hypnotic subject is told that he is at the North Pole, he will not only shiver and appear to be cold, his body will react just as if he were cold and goose pimples will develop. The same phenomenon has been demonstrated on wide-awake college students by asking them to imagine that one of their hands is immersed in ice water. Thermometer readings show that the temperature does drop in the “treated” hand. Tell a hypnotized subject that your finger is a red hot poker, and he will not only grimace with pain at your touch, but his cardiovascular and lymphatic systems will react just as if your finger were a red hot poker and produce inflammation and perhaps a blister on the skin.

• You act, and feel, not according to what things are really like, but according to the image your mind holds of what they are like. You have certain mental images of yourself, your world, and the people around you, and you behave as though these images were the truth, the reality, rather than the things they represent.

• So, how to use this knowledge? This para summarize this well

As Alex Morrison said, you must first clearly see a thing in your mind before you can do it. When you do see a thing clearly in your mind, the creative Success Mechanism within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by conscious effort, or “willpower.”

Instead of trying hard by conscious effort to do the thing with ironed-jawed willpower, and all the while worrying and picturing to yourself all the things that are likely to go wrong, you simply relax the strain, stop trying to do it by strain and effort, picture to yourself the target you really want to hit, and let your creative Success Mechanism take over.

Thus, mentally picturing the desired end result literally forces you to use “positive thinking.” You are not relieved thereafter from effort and work, but your efforts are used to carry you forward toward your goal, rather than in the futile mental conflict that results when you want and try to do one thing, but picture to yourself something else.

• This chapter gives a practice exercise to visualize the goal everyday. It recommends 30 min each day but say you can have good results even with 10 or 15 min.

  • Create a Daily Habit: Set aside 30 minutes each day (or start with 5–10 minutes) to be alone, relax, and close your eyes to exercise your imagination.
  • The “Motion Picture” Technique: Imagine you are sitting before a large movie screen watching yourself act exactly the way you want to be : confident, calm, and successful.
  • Importance of Detail: For the technique to work, the images must be vivid. You must imagine small details like specific sounds, smells, and tactile sensations so your nervous system mistakes the imagination for a real experience.
  • Automatic Success: This practice builds new “memories” in your mid-brain. Eventually, you will find yourself acting differently in real life “automatically and spontaneously,” without having to “try” hard.
  • Overcoming Difficulty: If your mind wanders or you struggle to visualize, first relax your body (try “smiling” into your body) and recall a past success to trigger a positive feeling. Then, carry that feeling into your current visualization.

Chapter 4. Dehypnotize Yourself from False Beliefs

• This chapter digs into self-image and how we have “hypnotized” ourselves into beliefs as if they are true. Beliefs are not physical laws and it can be changed.

• Author gives many example of how people perform various feats when hypnotized. The key takeaway: “When the hypnotist has guided the subject to the point where he is convinced that the hypnotist’s words are true statements, the subject then behaves differently because he thinks and believes differently.”

  To onlookers, the hypnotist’s “word” has a magical power. Such, however, is not the case. The power, the basic ability, to do these things was inherent in the subjects all the time—even before they met the hypnotist. The subjects, however, were unable to use this power because they themselves did not know it was there. They had bottled it up, and choked it off, because of their own negative beliefs. Without realizing it, they had hypnotized themselves into believing they could not do these things. And it would be truer to say that the hypnotist had “dehypnotized” them than to say he had hypnotized them.

• He digs deeper into this thought and why we feel inferior

  It is not knowledge of actual inferiority in skill or knowledge that gives us an inferiority complex and interferes with our living. It is the feeling of inferiority that does this. And this feeling of inferiority comes about for just one reason: We judge ourselves, and measure ourselves, not against our own “norm” or “par” but against some other individual’s “norm.” When we do this, we always, without exception, come out second best. But because we think and believe and assume that we should measure up to some other person’s “norm,” we feel miserable, and second-rate, and conclude that there is something wrong with us. The next logical conclusion in this cockeyed reasoning process is to conclude that we are not “worthy”; that we do not deserve success and happiness, and that it would be out of place for us to fully express our own abilities and talents, whatever they might be, without apology, or without feeling guilty about it.

• Now we tie this feeling of inferiority and superiority together

  The person with an inferiority complex invariably compounds the error by striving for superiority. His feelings spring from the false premise that he is inferior. From this false premise, a whole structure of “logical thought” and feeling is built. If he feels bad because he is inferior, the cure is to make himself as good as everybody else, and the way to feel really good is to make himself superior. This striving for superiority gets him into more trouble, causes more frustration, and sometimes brings about a neurosis where none existed before. He becomes more miserable than ever, and “the harder he tries,” the more miserable he becomes. Inferiority and superiority are reverse sides of the same coin. The cure lies in realizing that the coin itself is spurious.

• And the core point

  The truth about you is this:

  You are not “inferior.”

  You are not “superior.”

  You are simply “You.”

  “You” as a personality are not in competition with any other personality simply because there is not another person on the face of the earth like you, or in your particular class. You are an individual. You are unique. You are not “like” any other person and can never become “like” any other person. You are not “supposed” to be like any other person and no other person is “supposed” to be like you.

• Interestingly, this inferiority complex is manufactured in lab

  An “inferiority complex,” and its accompanying deterioration in performance, can be made to order in the psychological laboratory. All you need to do is to set up a norm or average, then convince your subject he does not measure up. According to a report in Science Digest, a psychologist wanted to find out how feelings of inferiority affected ability to solve problems. He gave his students a set of routine tests. But then he solemnly announced that the average person could complete the test in about one-fifth the time it would really take. When in the course of the test a bell would ring, indicating that the “average man’s” time was up, some of the brightest subjects became very jittery and incompetent indeed, thinking themselves to be morons. Stop measuring yourself against “their” standards. You are not “them” and can never measure up. Neither can “they” measure up to yours—nor should they. Once you see this simple, rather self-evident truth, accept it, and believe it, your inferior feelings will vanish.

• He finishes the chapter by prescribing daily relaxation habits. His recommendation is it helps to visualize new “you” (one without inferior beliefs) when you are relaxed. Not sure how much I agree on this, but everyone advocates daily relaxation.

Chapter 5 : How to Utilize the power of Rational thinking

• This chapter focuses on two aspects : First - the sub-conscious has no “will” of its own, it is directed by conscious thinking. And second, often we are limited by past failures and experiences. With the help of Rational thinking, we can challenge our past beliefs and stop “believing in them”

There is a widely accepted fallacy that rational, logical, conscious thinking has no power over unconscious processes or mechanisms, and that to change negative beliefs, feelings, or behavior, it is necessary to dig down and dredge up material from the “unconscious.” Your automatic mechanism, or what the Freudians call the “unconscious,” is absolutely impersonal. It operates as a machine and has no “will” of its own. It is conscious thinking that is the “control knob” of your unconscious machine.

“Regardless of the omissions and commissions of the past,” he said, “a person has to start in the present to acquire some maturity so that the future may be better than the past. The present and the future depend on learning new habits and new ways of looking at old problems. There simply isn’t any future in digging continually into the past. … The underlying emotional problem has the same common denominator in every patient. This common denominator is that the patient has forgotten how, or probably never learned how, to control his present thinking to produce enjoyment.”

• He makes a powerful point about past failures and errors were learning lessons. Seperate those lessons from identity

Our errors, mistakes, failures, and sometimes even our humiliations, were necessary steps in the learning process. However, they were meant to be means to an end—and not an end in themselves. When they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten. If we consciously dwell on the error, or consciously feel guilty about the error and keep berating ourselves because of it, then—unwittingly—the error or failure itself becomes the “goal” that is consciously held in imagination and memory. The unhappiest of mortals is that man who insists on reliving the past, over and over in imagination—continually criticizing himself for past mistakes—continually condemning himself for past sins.

Our errors, mistakes, failures, and sometimes even our humiliations, were necessary steps in the learning process. However, they were meant to be means to an end—and not an end in themselves. When they have served their purpose, they should be forgotten. If we consciously dwell on the error, or consciously feel guilty about the error and keep berating ourselves because of it, then—unwittingly—the error or failure itself becomes the “goal” that is consciously held in imagination and memory. The unhappiest of mortals is that man who insists on reliving the past, over and over in imagination—continually criticizing himself for past mistakes—continually condemning himself for past sins.

• He makes a strong example that why hypnosis is successful is because :

the talents and abilities displayed by hypnotic subjects were due to a “purgation of memory” of past failures while in the hypnotic state. If this were possible under hypnosis, Miss Brande asked herself—if ordinary people carried around within themselves talents, abilities, powers that were held in and not used merely because of memories of past failures—why couldn’t a person in the wakeful state use these same powers by ignoring past failures and “acting as if it were impossible to fail”? (Quoted by F.M.H. Myers)

• Brande’s argument therefore shifts responsibility back to ordinary life. Hypnosis becomes a demonstration rather than a necessity. It shows that people possess more resource than they habitually employ, and that a change of attitude in the waking state, persistent disregard of discouraging memories, can open the same door that trance seems to open.
• This quote by Bertrand Russell (who actually changed his self belief of hating his life to finding joy and positivity in it) :

What I suggest is that a man should make up his mind with emphasis as to what he rationally believes, and should never allow contrary irrational beliefs to pass unchallenged or obtain a hold over him, however brief. This is a question of reasoning with himself in those moments in which he is tempted to become infantile, but the reasoning, if it is sufficiently emphatic, may be very brief.

• Maltz press further on examining and reevaluate the beliefs. This is solid, most powerful part of this chapter :

Remember that both behavior and feeling spring from belief. To root out the belief that is responsible for your feeling and behavior—ask yourself, “Why?” Is there some task that you would like to do, some channel in which you would like to express yourself, but you hang back feeling that “I can’t”? Ask yourself, “Why?” “Why do I believe that I can’t?” Then ask yourself, “Is this belief based on an actual fact or on an assumption—or a false conclusion?” Then ask yourself the questions:

1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person in a similar situation?
4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this were true if there is no good reason to believe it?

Don’t just pass these questions by casually. Wrestle with them. Think hard on them. Get emotional about them. Can you see that you have cheated yourself and sold yourself short—not because of a “fact”—but only because of some stupid belief? If so, try to arouse some indignation, or even anger. Indignation and anger can sometimes act as liberators from false ideas. Alfred Adler “got mad” at himself and at his teacher and was enabled to throw off a negative definition of himself. This experience is not uncommon.

• Another note on the power of desire. This is the main crux of the entire book - change your thoughts and subconscious will generate emotions in support of the “goal”:

Picture to yourself what you would like to be and have, and assume for the moment that such things might be possible. Arouse a deep desire for these things. Become enthusiastic about them. Dwell on them—and keep going over them in your mind. Your present negative beliefs were formed by thought plus feelings. Generate enough emotion, or deep feeling, and your new thoughts and ideas will cancel them out.

Picture to yourself what you would like to be and have, and assume for the moment that such things might be possible. Arouse a deep desire for these things. Become enthusiastic about them. Dwell on them—and keep going over them in your mind. Your present negative beliefs were formed by thought plus feelings. Generate enough emotion, or deep feeling, and your new thoughts and ideas will cancel them out.

• A practical advice on setting the goals. Tim Ferriss also goes in this - when chasing a goal, he challenges to visualize “what if this was easy”:

Also remember that your automatic mechanism does not reason about, or question, the data you feed it. It merely processes it and reacts appropriately to it.

It is very important that the automatic mechanism be given true facts concerning the environment. This is the job of conscious rational thought: to know the truth, to form correct evaluations, estimations, and opinions. In this connection most of us are prone to underestimate ourselves and overestimate the nature of the difficulty facing us. “Always think of what you have to do as easy and it will become so,”

• The chapter ends with a note on caution - what conscious mind can or can not do.

It is the job of your conscious mind to pay strict attention to the task at hand, to what you are doing and what is going on around you so that these incoming sensory messages can keep your automatic mechanism currently advised of the environment and allow it to respond spontaneously. In baseball parlance you must “keep your eye on the ball.” It is not the job of your conscious rational mind, however, to create or to “do” the job at hand. We get into trouble when we either neglect to use conscious thinking in the way that it is meant to be used, or when we attempt to use it in a way that it was never meant to be used. We cannot squeeze creative thought out of the Creative Mechanism by making conscious effort. We cannot “do” the job to be done by making strained conscious efforts. And because we try and cannot, we become concerned, anxious, frustrated. The automatic mechanism is unconscious. We cannot see the wheels turning. We cannot know what is taking place beneath the surface. And because it works spontaneously in reacting to present and current needs, we can have no intimation or certified guarantee in advance that it will come up with the answer. We are forced into a position of trust. And only by trusting and acting do we receive signs and wonders. In short, conscious, rational thought selects the goal, gathers information, concludes, evaluates, estimates, and starts the wheels in motion. It is not, however, responsible for results. We must learn to do our work, act on the best assumptions available, and leave results to take care of themselves.

• In summary, Maltz therefore assigns a clear sequence. Conscious thought sets the aim, collects information, evaluates options, and initiates action. After that point it must step aside and allow the automatic system to execute. Anxiety appears when the conscious mind refuses to release control and tries to supervise every movement. The practical lesson is to focus on doing the next necessary action with full attention while letting outcomes emerge on their own. Work diligently, act on the best knowledge available, and avoid obsessing over results. Creativity and effective performance arise not from tension but from confident cooperation between the observing mind and the hidden mechanism that actually does the work.

Chapter 6 : Relax and Let your success mechanism work for you

• Another powerful chapter which digs into why relaxing and worrying less is your best strategy for success. This chapter was full of actionable tips with relevant examples. I will re-read this chapter every 2 weeks for some time.
• It starts by re-iterating that we can

Our trouble is that we ignore the automatic Creative Mechanism and try to do everything and solve all our problems by conscious thought, or “forebrain thinking.” The forebrain is comparable to the “operator” of a computer, or any other type of servo-mechanism. It is with the forebrain that we think “I,” and feel our sense of identity. It is with the forebrain that we exercise imagination, or set goals. We use the forebrain to gather information, make observations, and evaluate incoming sense-data, form judgments. But the forebrain cannot create. It cannot “do” the job to be done, any more than the operator of a computer can “do” the work.

All the evidence points to the conclusion that in order to receive an “inspiration” or a “hunch,” the person must first of all be intensely interested in solving a particular problem, or securing a particular answer. He must think about it consciously, gather all the information he can on the subject, consider all the possible courses of action. And above all, he must have a burning desire to solve the problem. But, after he has defined the problem, sees in his imagination the desired end result, secured all the information and facts that he can, then additional struggling, fretting, and worrying over it does not help, but seems to hinder the solution.

• Many examples are given of successful people who solved the problem by grappling with the problem and letting the subconscious mind handle this for some time

It is well known that when Thomas A. Edison was stymied by a problem, he would lie down and take a short nap.

Charles Darwin, telling how an intuitional flash came to him suddenly, after months of conscious thinking had failed to give him the ideas he needed for The Origin of Species, wrote, “I can remember the very spot in the road, whilst in my carriage, when to my joy the solution occurred to me.”

• This advice is again a summary of the whole approach :

When you set a goal, it’s very important to keep in mind that most of the time you will be in “journey mode.” This means you will be focused on the process and the actions you need to take to get where you want to go—most of the time. If your goal is to climb Mount Everest, and you are only thinking about being at the top, you “jam” your success mechanism in the present. You’ve got to take care of each step along the way. Focus on the journey the majority of the time—and occasionally (once or twice per day when you visualize) tune into the goal. Then get back into journey mode and simply turn your goal over to your subconscious or Success Mechanism, to guide you there without effort.

People who want to improve their financial situation must heed the same advice. If you continually obsess about where you are as well as where you want to be financially, you’re less likely to get there. Program the goal—then get busy on the process—and if you don’t know the process yet, give yourself space to allow the process of “how” to come to you. The “how” will come to you when you’re relaxed—not when you’re tense or trying to force your way through the process.

• He gives Five Rules for freeing your creative machinery :
  1. “Do Your Worrying Before You Place Your Bet, Not After the Wheel Starts Turning”
• Obvious and yet so easy to ignore.

I also discovered that the same principle works in a hundred different little personal ways. For example, I used to worry and fume about having to go to the dentist, and other unpleasant tasks. Then I said to myself, “This is silly. You know the unpleasantness involved before you make the decision to go. If the unpleasantness is all that important to cause so much concern, and not worth the worry involved, you can simply decide not to go. But, if the decision is that the trip is worth a little unpleasantness, and a definite decision is made to go—then forget about it. Consider the risk before the wheel starts turning.”

1. Form the habit of consciously responding to the present moment

Consciously practice the habit of “taking no anxious thought for tomorrow,” by giving all your attention to the present moment. Your Creative Mechanism cannot function or work tomorrow. It can only function in the present—today. Make long-range plans for tomorrow. But don’t try to live in tomorrow, or in the past. Creative living means responding and reacting to environment spontaneously. Your Creative Mechanism can respond appropriately and successfully to present environment—only if you have your full attention on present environment—and give it information concerning what is happening now. Plan all you want to for the future. Prepare for it. But don’t worry about how you will react tomorrow, or even five minutes from now. Your Creative Mechanism will react appropriately in the “now” if you pay attention to what is happening now. It will do the same tomorrow. It cannot react successfully to what may happen—but to what is happening.

Live life in “day-tight compartments,” he advised his students. Look neither forward nor backward beyond a 24-hour cycle. Live today as best you can. By living today well you do the most within your power to make tomorrow better.

Alcoholics Anonymous uses the same principle when they say, “Don’t try to stop drinking forever—merely say, ‘I will not drink today.’”

• A practical note on “Stop, Look and Listen”

Becoming more aware of what is happening now, and attempting to respond only to what is happening now, has almost magical results in relieving the “jitters.” The next time you feel yourself tensing up, becoming jittery and nervous—pull yourself up short and say, “What is there here and now that I should respond to? That I can do something about?” A great deal of nervousness is caused from unwittingly “trying” to do something that cannot be done here or now. You are then geared for action or for “doing,” which cannot take place. Keep constantly in mind that the job of your Creative Mechanism is to respond appropriately to present environment—here and now. Many times, if we do not “stop and think” about this, we continue to react automatically to some past environment.

In short we do not react to reality—but to a fiction.

1. Try to do only one thing at a time

• This advice is everywhere. All productivity gurus talk about the cost of context switching and that muti-tasking doesnt exist in nature, it is more of muti-context switching. All spiritual leaders also talk about this - from Osho who talks about being mindful and aware of the present to almost all meditation books. The amazing book “Meditation for Mortals” actually go over this single line again and again, asking us to embrace our reality (of mortality) and the fact that we can do only one thing at a time.

Another cause of confusion, and the resulting feelings of nervousness, hurry, and anxiety, is the absurd habit of trying to do many things at one time.

> **The truth is: We can only do one thing at a time. Realizing this, fully convincing ourselves of this simple and obvious truth, enables us to mentally stop trying to do the things that lie next, and to concentrate all our awareness, all our responsiveness, on this one thing we are doing now.** When we work with this attitude, we are relaxed, we are free from the feelings of hurry and anxiety, and we are able to concentrate and think at our best.

1. Sleep on it

• Another obvious, famous and useful advice. History is filled with stories of how progress was made by working and let subconscious mind taking over and solving in background

1. Relax While you work

• This book is written in 1960. It is so interesting that many of these advices are now coming from both Productivity experts and Spiritial leaders. Again, a very useful advice - relax while you work. Tie this with advice #3 and you will make much more progress while remaining calm.

The truth is: We can only do one thing at a time. Realizing this, fully convincing ourselves of this simple and obvious truth, enables us to mentally stop trying to do the things that lie next, and to concentrate all our awareness, all our responsiveness, on this one thing we are doing now. When we work with this attitude, we are relaxed, we are free from the feelings of hurry and anxiety, and we are able to concentrate and think at our best.

Chapter 7 : You can acquire the habit of happiness

• “Happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time”.
• Maltz opens this chapter by sharing many examples of why happiness is a good medicine. He present research after research where science proves that we are physically and mentally better if we are happy

Happiness is native to the human mind and its physical machine. We think better, perform better, feel better, and are healthier when we are happy. Even our physical sense organs work better. Russian psychologist K. Kekcheyev tested people when they were thinking pleasant and unpleasant thoughts. He found that when thinking pleasant thoughts they could see better, taste, smell, and hear better, and detect finer differences in touch. Dr. William Bates proved that eyesight improves immediately when the individual is thinking pleasant thoughts, or visualizing pleasant scenes.

The very word “disease” means a state of unhappiness—“dis-ease.”

• It also discuss impact of happiness from a moral standpoint. There is a text by philosopher Barch Spinoza from his book Ethics

“Happiness is not the reward of virtue,” said Spinoza in his book Ethics, “but virtue itself; nor do we delight in happiness because we restrain our lusts; but, on the contrary, because we delight in it, therefore are we able to restrain them.”

• Spinoza flips the traditional cause-and-effect relationship between Virtue (being good/disciplined) and Happiness.
  • Traditional View: I must restrain my bad impulses (lusts/vices) -> Then I will become virtuous -> As a reward, I will get to be happy.
  • Spinoza’s View: I must be happy first (delight in happiness) -> This positive state gives me the power to restrain my bad impulses -> Therefore, I become virtuous.
• Another very important aspect is dealt that seeking happiness is not “Selfish”. He makes a strong argument:

Many sincere people are deterred from seeking happiness because they feel that it would be “selfish” or “wrong.” Unselfishness does make for happiness, for it not only gets our minds directed outward away from ourselves and our introspection, our faults, sins, troubles (unpleasant thoughts), or pride in our “goodness,” but it also enables us to express ourselves creatively, and fulfill ourselves in helping others. However, if we make a moral issue out of happiness and conceive of it as something to be earned as a sort of reward for being unselfish, we are very apt to feel guilty about wanting happiness. Happiness comes from being and acting unselfishly—as a natural accompaniment to the being and acting, not as a “payoff” or prize. If we are rewarded for being unselfish, the next logical step is to assume that the more self-abnegating and miserable we make ourselves, the happier we will be. The premise leads to the absurd conclusion that the way to be happy is to be unhappy.

• After making all the case for WHY one should be happy, the chapter further goes into HOW of it.

Happiness is a mental habit, a mental attitude, and if it is not learned and practiced in the present it is never experienced. It cannot be made contingent upon solving some external problem. When one problem is solved, another appears to take its place. Life is a series of problems. If you are to be happy at all, you must be happy—period! Not happy “because of.”

To a large extent we react to petty annoyances, frustrations, and the like with grumpiness, dissatisfaction, resentment, and irritability, purely out of habit. We have practiced reacting that way so long, it has become habitual. Much of this habitual unhappiness-reaction originated because of some event that we interpreted as a blow to our self-esteem. A driver honks his horn at us unnecessarily; someone interrupts and doesn’t pay attention while we’re talking; someone doesn’t come through for us as we think he should. Even impersonal events can be interpreted, and reacted to, as affronts to our self-esteem. The bus we wanted to catch had to be late; it had to go and rain when we had planned to play golf; traffic had to get into a snarl just when we needed to catch the plane. We react with anger, resentment, self-pity, or in other words, unhappiness.

You are letting outward events and other people dictate to you how you shall feel and how you shall react. You are acting as an obedient slave and obeying promptly when some event or circumstance signals to you—‘Be angry’—‘Get upset’—or ‘Now is the time to feel unhappy.’”

• Then a strong case is made on happiness is something to be practiced, like any habit

The idea that happiness, or keeping one’s thoughts pleasant most of the time, can be deliberately and systematically cultivated by practicing in a more or less cold-blooded manner, strikes many of my patients as rather incredible, if not ludicrous, when I first suggest it. Yet experience has shown not only that this can be done, but that it is about the only way that the “habit of happiness” can be cultivated. In the first place happiness isn’t something that happens to you. It is something you yourself do and determine upon.

No one can decide what your thoughts shall be but yourself. If you wait until circumstances “justify” your thinking pleasant thoughts, you are also likely to wait forever. Every day is a mixture of good and evil—no day or circumstance is completely 100 percent “good.” There are elements and “facts” present in the world, and in our personal lives at all times, that “justify” either a pessimistic and grumpy outlook, or an optimistic and happy outlook, depending on our choice. It is largely a matter of selection, attention, and decision. Nor is it a matter of being either intellectually honest or dishonest. Good is as “real” as evil. It is merely a matter of what we choose to give primary attention to—and what thoughts we hold in the mind.

• A practical tip of using “happy thoughts” by Professor Elmer Gates is shared

He made a daily practice of “calling up pleasant ideas and memories” and believed that this helped him in his work. If a person wants to improve himself, he said, “let him summon those finer feelings of benevolence and usefulness, which are called up only now and then. Let him make this a regular exercise like swinging dumbbells. Let him gradually increase the time devoted to these psychical gymnastics, and at the end of a month he will find the change in himself surprising.

• Self Image and Happiness are so strongly linked. Hence, correcting self image is everything:

Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other. The word “habit” originally meant a garment, or clothing. We still speak of riding habits, and habiliments. This gives us an insight into the true nature of habit. Our habits are literally garments worn by our personalities. They are not accidental, or happenstance.

our attitudes, emotions, and beliefs tend to become habitual. In the past we “learned” that certain attitudes, ways of feeling and thinking, were “appropriate” to certain situations. Now we tend to think, feel, and act the same way whenever we encounter what we interpret as “the same sort of situation.” What we need to understand is that these habits, unlike addictions, can be modified, changed, or reversed simply by taking the trouble to make a conscious decision—and then by practicing or “acting out” the new response or behavior. The pianist can consciously decide to strike a different key, if he chooses. The dancer can consciously decide to learn a new step—and there is no agony about it. It does require constant watchfulness and practice until the new behavior pattern is thoroughly learned.

Chapter 8 : Ingredients of the “Success Type” Personality

• This chapter is mixture of points covered so far in previous chapters. Here Maltz gives his view of what a SUCCESS personality looks like. He defines it as :

  • Sense of direction
  • Understanding
  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Esteem
  • Self-Confidence
  • Self-Acceptance

• Sense of Direction :

“Functionally, a man is somewhat like a bicycle,” I told him. “A bicycle maintains its poise and equilibrium only so long as it is going forward towards something. You have a good bicycle. Your trouble is you are trying to maintain your balance sitting still, with no place to go. It’s no wonder you feel shaky.”

• Understanding : A powerful reminder that having a common understanding of point of view is not a given thing. And communication is critical

Understanding depends on good communication. Communication is vital to any guidance system or computer. You cannot react appropriately if the information you act on is faulty or misunderstood. Most of our failures in human relations are due to “misunderstandings.” We expect other people to react and respond and come to the same conclusions as we do from a given set of “facts” or “circumstances.” We should remember what we said in an earlier chapter—no one reacts to “things as they are,” but to his own mental images. Most of the time the other person’s reaction or position is not taken in order to make us suffer, nor to be hardheaded, or malicious, but because he “understands” and interprets the situation differently from us. He is merely responding appropriately to what—to him—seems to be the truth about the situation. To give the other person credit for being sincere, if mistaken, rather than willful and malicious, can do much to smooth out human relations and bring about better understanding between people. Ask yourself, “How does this appear—to him?”

BE WILLING TO SEE THE TRUTH : Oftentimes, we color incoming sensory data by our own fears, anxieties, or desires. But to deal effectively with environment, we must be willing to acknowledge the truth about it. Only when we understand what it is can we respond appropriately.

• Courage : Courage to take action
• Compassion

It is a psychological fact that our feelings about ourselves tend to correspond to our feelings about other people. When a person begins to feel more compassion about others, he invariably begins to feel more compassion toward himself.

• Esteem : Similar to self-image, having good esteem is a virtue and not a vice.
• Self-Confidence
• Self-Acceptance
• This was average chapter ; nothing wow or mind influencing revelation. Most of points here are captured in the previous chapters.

Chapter 9 : The Failure Mechanism

• In contrast to the previous chapter which focused on what are the success behavior, this chapter takes on what are the common cause of failures and how you can recogize and avoid them.

Steam boilers have pressure gauges that show when the pressure is reaching the danger point. By recognizing the potential danger, corrective action can be taken—and safety assured.

• As with the previous chapter, Dr Maltz here structure the signals of “Failure Mechanism” as
  • Frustration, hopelessness, futility
  • Aggressiveness (misdirected)
  • Insecurity
  • Loneliness (lack of “oneness”)
  • Uncertainty
  • Resentment
  • Emptiness

Frustration:

• Frustration is an emotional feeling that develops whenever some important goal cannot be realized or when some strong desire is thwarted. We need to understand that our “doing” can never be as good as our intentions. We also learn to accept the fact that perfection is neither necessary nor required, and that approximations are good enough for all practical purposes. We learn to tolerate a certain amount of frustration without becoming upset about it.

Chronic frustration usually means that the goals we have set for ourselves are unrealistic, or the image we have of ourselves is inadequate, or both.

• Frustration as a way of solving problem does not work. I loved this paragraph

Expressing frustration, discontent, or dissatisfaction is a way of responding to problems that we all “learned” as infants. If an infant is hungry he expresses discontent by crying. A warm, tender hand then appears magically out of nowhere and brings milk. If he is uncomfortable, he again expresses his dissatisfaction with the status quo, and the same warm hands appear magically again and solve his problem by making him comfortable. Many children continue to get their way, and have their problems solved by overindulgent parents, by merely expressing their feelings of frustration. All they have to do is feel frustrated and dissatisfied and the problem is solved. This way of life “works” for the infant and for some small children. It does not work in adult life. Yet many of us continue to try it, by feeling discontented and expressing our grievances against life, apparently in the hope that life itself will take pity—rush in and solve our problem for us—if only we feel badly enough.

Aggressiveness

• Aggression is fundamental to humans (or all animals)

Aggressiveness itself is not an abnormal behavior pattern as some psychiatrists once believed. Aggressiveness—along with emotional steam—is very necessary in reaching a goal. We must go out after what we want in an aggressive rather than in a defensive or tentative manner. We must grapple with problems aggressively. The mere fact of having an important goal is enough to create emotional steam in our boiler and bring aggressive tendencies into play.

Dr. Konrad Lorenz, the famous Viennese doctor and animal sociologist, told psychiatrists at the Postgraduate Center for Psychotherapy (now the Postgraduate Center for Mental Health), in New York City, that the study of animal behavior for many years has shown that aggressive behavior is basic and fundamental, and that an animal cannot feel or express affection until channels have been provided for the expression of aggression. Dr. Emanuel K. Schwartz, then assistant dean of the center, said that Dr. Lorenz’s discoveries have tremendous implications for man and may require us to reevaluate our total view of human relations. They indicate, he said, that providing a proper outlet for aggression is as important, if not more so, than providing for love and tenderness.

*In one of Osho's meditation, before we go into calm chanting, Osho makes one scream loudly to give outlet to pending steam / aggression. Only when that steam is out, one can focus on being calm.*

• Often it is frustration which is finding its outlet as aggression

However, trouble ensues when we are blocked or frustrated in achieving our goal. The failure-type personality does not direct his aggressiveness toward the accomplishment of a worthwhile goal. Instead it is used in such self-destructive channels as ulcers, high blood pressure, worry, excessive smoking, and compulsive overwork; or it may be turned on other persons in the form of irritability, rudeness, gossip, nagging, fault-finding.

Insecurity

• It should be obvious but insecurity is largely tied to self image

The feeling of insecurity is based on a concept or belief of inner inadequacy. If you feel that you do not “measure up” to what is required, you feel insecure. A great deal of insecurity is not due to the fact that our inner resources are actually inadequate, but due to the fact that we use a false measuring stick. We compare our actual abilities to an imagined “ideal,” perfect, or absolute self. Thinking of yourself in terms of absolutes induces insecurity.

Loneliness

Loneliness All of us are lonely at times. Again, it is a natural penalty we pay for being human and individual. But it is the extreme and chronic feeling of loneliness—of being cut off and alienated from other people—that is a symptom of the failure mechanism.

Loneliness is a way of self-protection. Lines of communication with other people—and especially any emotional ties—are cut down. It is a way to protect our idealized self against exposure, hurt, humiliation. The lonely personality is afraid of other people. Develop some social skill that will add to the happiness of other people: dancing, bridge, playing the piano, tennis, conversation.

Uncertainty

• Slightly linked to insecurity, as uncertainty can also be a way to make decision

Uncertainty is a way of avoiding mistakes, and responsibility. It is based on the fallacious premise that if no decision is made, nothing can go wrong. Being “wrong” holds untold horrors to the person who tries to conceive of himself as perfect. He is never wrong, and always perfect in all things. If he were ever wrong, his picture of a perfect, all-powerful self would crumble. Therefore, decision-making becomes a life-or-death matter.

• Though the nature of learning is by making mistakes and correcting. So action despite being uncertain is where progress is made

It is in the nature of things that we progress by acting, making mistakes, and correcting course. A guided torpedo literally arrives at its target by making a series of mistakes and continually correcting its course. You cannot correct your course if you are standing still.

Use self-esteem for yourself, instead of against yourself, by convincing yourself of this truth: Big men and big personalities make mistakes and admit them. It is the little man who is afraid to admit he has been wrong.

Resentment

• This was one of my favorite Failure mechanism. Lot of people hold on to resentment. That aspect is deconstructed here

Resentment is also a “way,” or an attempt, to wipe out or eradicate a real or fancied wrong or injustice that has already happened. The resentful person is trying to “prove his case” before the court of life, so to speak. If he can feel resentful enough, and thereby “prove” the injustice, some magic process will reward him by making “not so” the event or circumstance that caused the resentment. In this sense resentment is a mental resistance to, a non-acceptance of, something which has already happened. The word itself comes from two Latin words: re meaning “back,” and sentire meaning “to feel.” Resentment is an emotional rehashing, or refighting, of some event in the past. You cannot win, because you are attempting to do the impossible—change the past.

Habitually feeling that you are a victim of injustice, you begin to picture yourself in the role of a victimized person. You carry around an inner feeling that is looking for an external peg to hang itself on. It is then easy to see so called evidence of injustice, or fancy you have been wronged, in the most innocent remark or neutral circumstance.

• Being resentful means you are letting someone else decide your emotions. Brilliant!

The resentful person turns over his reins to other people. They are allowed to dictate how he shall feel, how he shall act. He is wholly dependent on other people, just as a beggar is.

If you feel that other people “owe” you eternal gratitude, undying appreciation, or continual recognition of your superlative worth, you will feel resentment when these “debts” are not paid. If life owes you a living, you become resentful when it isn’t forthcoming. Resentment is therefore inconsistent with creative goal-striving. In creative goal-striving you are the actor, not the passive recipient. You set your goals. No one owes you anything. You go out after your own goals. You become responsible for your own success and happiness. Resentment doesn’t fit into this picture, and because it doesn’t it is a Failure Mechanism.

Emptiness

• So many bad decisions are made when people are scared of being alone. Emptiness and an inadequate self-image go together.

A person who has the capacity to enjoy still alive within him finds enjoyment in many ordinary and simple things in life. He also enjoys whatever success in a material way he has achieved. The person in whom the capacity to enjoy is dead can find enjoyment in nothing. No goal is worth working for.

Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively. You either have no goal that is important enough to you, or you are not using your talents and efforts in striving toward an important goal.

• This is insighful. Striving towards goal gives a meaning, it is not escaping from anything. But rather choosing what you want to pursue.

• The chapter is closed with a brilliant example of how to Glance at Negatives, but focus on Positives

Automobiles come equipped with negative indicators placed directly in front of the driver, to tell you when the battery is not charging, when the engine is becoming too hot, when the oil pressure is becoming too low, etc. To ignore these negatives might ruin your car. However, there is no need to become unduly upset if some negative signal flashes. You merely stop at a service station or a garage, and take positive action to correct. A negative signal does not mean the car is no good. All cars overheat at times. However, the driver of the automobile does not look at the control panel exclusively and continuously. To do so might be disastrous. He must focus his gaze through the windshield, look where he is going, and keep his primary attention on his goal—where he wants to go. He merely glances at the negative indicators from time to time. When he does, he does not fix upon them or dwell upon them. He quickly focuses his sight ahead of him again and concentrates on the positive goal of where he wants to go.

Chapter 10 : How to remove emotional scars

• An important chapter. Dr Maltz talks about like physical injury leave scars as way of healing marks, same happens with emotions. But it can alienate you from the life.

We form emotional or spiritual “scars” for self-protection. We are very apt to become hardened of heart, callous toward the world, and to withdraw within a protective shell. This scar tissue, however, not only “protects” them from the individual who originally hurt them—it “protects” them against all other human beings. An emotional wall is built through which neither friend nor foe can pass.

• He gives three rules to immunize against emotional hurts

1. Be too big to feel threatened

It is a well-known psychological fact that the people who become offended the easiest have the lowest self-esteem. We are “hurt” by those things we conceive of as threats to our ego or self-esteem.

Healthy self-images do not bruise easily. When a person has adequate self-esteem, little slights offer no threat at all—they are simply “passed over” and ignored.

1. Self-Reliant, Responsible attitude makes you less vulnerable

The person who has little or no self-reliance, who feels emotionally dependent on others, makes himself most vulnerable to emotional hurts. Every human being wants and needs love and affection. But the creative, self-reliant person also feels a need to give love. His emphasis is as much (or more) on the giving as on the getting. He doesn’t expect love to be handed to him on a silver platter. Nor does he have a compulsive need that “everybody” must love him and approve of him. He has sufficient ego-security to tolerate the fact that a certain number of people will dislike him and disapprove. He feels some sense of responsibility for his life and conceives of himself primarily as one who acts, determines, gives, goes after what he wants, rather than as a person who is the passive recipient of all the good things in life. The passive-dependent person turns his entire destiny over to other people, circumstances, luck. Life owes him a living and other people owe him consideration, appreciation, love, happiness. He makes unreasonable demands and claims on other people and feels cheated, wronged, hurt, when they aren’t fulfilled. Because life just isn’t built that way, he is seeking the impossible and leaving himself “wide open” to emotional hurts and injuries. Someone has said that the neurotic personality is forever “bumping into” reality.

1. Relax away emotional hurt

• This was interesting and a different perspective. Dr Maltz ties down this to another aspect of what happens to us is mostly our response to the event

If there is no tension present, there is no disfiguring emotional scar left. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to “get your feelings hurt,” or “take offense,” when you are suffering tensions brought about by frustration, fear, anger, or depression?

When we “feel hurt” or “feel offended,” the feeling is entirely a matter of our own response. In fact the feeling is our response.

Scientific experiments have shown that it is absolutely impossible to feel fear, anger, anxiety, or negative emotions of any kind while the muscles of the body are kept perfectly relaxed. We have to “do something” to feel fear, anger, anxiety. “No man is hurt but by himself,” said Diogenes. “Nothing can work me damage except myself,” said St. Bernard. “The harm that I sustain I carry about with me, and am never a real sufferer but by my own fault.”

Forgiveness

• From the discussion on how to immunize, now the discussion turns to how to heal from the emotional scars of the past. Forgiveness is a scalpel that removes emotional scars. This section digs deeper into it - first by suggesting we forgive completely and then next level is understanding there was nothing to forgive

Forgiveness Is a Scalpel That Removes Emotional Scars “‘I can forgive, but I cannot forget,’ is only another way of saying ‘I will not forgive,’” said Henry Ward Beecher. “Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note—torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” Your forgiveness should be forgotten, as well as the wrong which was forgiven. Forgiveness that is remembered, and dwelt upon, reinfects the wound you are attempting to cauterize. If you are too proud of your forgiveness, or remember it too much, you are very apt to feel that the other person owes you something for forgiving him. You forgive him one debt, but in doing so, he incurs another, much like the operators of small loan companies who cancel one note and make out a new one every two weeks.

Another fallacy is that forgiveness places us in a superior position, or is a method of winning out over our enemy.

• On how to forgive

Therapeutic forgiveness is not difficult. The only difficulty is to secure your own willingness to give up and do without your sense of condemnation—your willingness to cancel out the debt, with no mental reservations. We find it difficult to forgive only because we like our sense of condemnation. We get a perverse and morbid enjoyment out of nursing our wounds. As long as we can condemn another, we can feel superior to him.

Your reasons for forgiveness are important. True forgiveness comes only when we are able to see, and emotionally accept, that there is and was nothing for us to forgive. We should not have condemned or hated the other person in the first place.

What you and I must see after the fact in practicing therapeutic forgiveness: that we ourselves err when we hate a person because of his mistakes, or when we condemn him, or classify him as a certain type of person, confusing his person with his behavior; or when we mentally incur a debt that the other person must “pay” before being restored to our good graces, and our emotional acceptance.

• Forgive yourself as well as others

Forgive Yourself as Well as Others Not only do we incur emotional wounds from others, most of us inflict them on ourselves. We beat ourselves over the head with self-condemnation, remorse, and regret. We beat ourselves down with self-doubt. We cut ourselves up with excessive guilt. Remorse and regret are attempts to emotionally live in the past. Excessive guilt is an attempt to make right in the past something we did wrong or thought of as wrong in the past.

We need to recognize our own errors as mistakes. Otherwise we could not correct course. “Steering” or “guidance” would be impossible. But it is futile and fatal to hate or condemn ourselves for our mistakes.

You Make Mistakes. Mistakes Do Not Make “You”

One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to confuse our behavior with our “self” … to conclude that because we did a certain act it characterizes us as a certain sort of person. It clarifies thinking if we can see that mistakes involve something we do—they refer to actions, and to be realistic we should use verbs denoting action, rather than nouns denoting a state of being, in describing them. For example, to say “I failed” (verb form) is but to recognize an error and can help lead to future success.

Chapter 11 : How to unlock your real personality

• It starts with interesting question - “why does everyone loves a baby”. He goes on to answer:

There is no superficiality, no phoniness, no hypocrisy. In his own language, which consists mostly of either crying or cooing, the baby expresses his real feelings. He “says what he means.” There is no guile. The baby is emotionally honest. He exemplifies to the nth degree the psychological dictum “Be yourself.” He has no qualms about expressing himself. He is not in the least inhibited.

• Topic of “purpose tremor” is also discussed

Attempting to pour a liquid into the mouth of a very small-necked bottle often results in the same kind of behavior. You can hold your hand perfectly steady, until you try to accomplish your purpose, then for some strange reason you quiver and shake. In medical circles, we call this “purpose tremor.”

• Excessive carefulness, or being too anxious not to make an error, is a form of excessive negative feedback. Dr Maltz says that we can get too conscious

When you become too consciously concerned about “what others think”; when you become too careful to consciously try to please other people; when you become too sensitive to the real or fancied disapproval of other people—then you have excessive negative feedback, inhibition, and poor performance.

The way to make a good impression on other people is: Never consciously “try” to make a good impression on them. Never act, or fail to act, purely for consciously contrived effect. Never “wonder” consciously what the other person is thinking of you, how he is judging you.

• A practical tip was shared on how to be less conscious : visualize as you are interacting with your parents or your loved ones and you are just being you.
• Society, or more commonly childhood experiences can prevent us from self-expressing ourselves

Yet self-expression may become morally “wrong” as far as your conscience is concerned, if you were squelched, shut-up, shamed, humiliated, or perhaps punished as a child for speaking up, expressing your ideas, “showing off.” Such a child “learns” that it is “wrong” to express himself, to hold himself out as having any worthwhile ideas, or perhaps to speak at all.

If you are among the millions who suffer unhappiness and failure because of inhibition—you need to deliberately practice disinhibition. You need to practice being less careful, less concerned, less conscientious. You need to practice speaking before you think instead of thinking before you speak—acting without thinking, instead of thinking or “considering carefully” before you act.

Favorite Quotes

Live life in “day-tight compartments,” Look neither forward nor backward beyond a 24-hour cycle. Live today as best you can. By living today well you do the most within your power to make tomorrow better.

The very word “disease” means a state of unhappiness—“dis-ease.”

“Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.”

“The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.” —Elbert Hubbard

No man ever became great or good except through many and great mistakes. —William E. Gladstone

We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never made a mistake never made a discovery. —Samuel Smiles